haha! blogging again. so late now. almost midnight. that shuttle bus's fault again. ok lah, maybe partly my fault too, should have run for it. but lazy to lah. anyway, i realised why i'm always so depressed on sunday nights. nope, it's not just because tomorrow's monday, it's because of 2 simple words. "maths tutorial". yup. stupid thing really. i just can't get it. i mean, i understand him in lecture (up till now anyway) but i still can't apply the concepts properly. it doesn't help that most of the tutorial deals with proving and stuff like that. sigh. and just as i was getting the hang of the first topic (linear equations or something like that) he starts on another new topic (euclidian n-spaces). and poor me's lost again. next week's term break is going to be spent in catching up on my maths. that girl june is scaring me. just now, she was already asking me if i know if tutorial 5 is uploaded on ivle yet. and we've only just started tutorial 4 today. she's practically finished the next set of homework already. oh my god. people like that are freaky. same with that china girl in my tutorial class (i think her name's tang yang). she's already started the homework set. i know i should too but i can't cos there's some parts (most parts) that toh hasn't covered yet. and me can't handle it if the lecturer hasn't covered it. sigh. i feel stupid.

choir was fun. now got this weird chinese song, weirder than dokin. but it's so fun when it's combined. reminds me of those nonsense stuff that vj choir's so good at. can't believe that i'll actually be singing songs like that. we're also doing an eric whitacre song. i think he's the guy that composed for "waternight". cool! but so difficult to learn. the rhythm is just crazy. but it sounds good when we finally got it right. didn't get past the first few pages though. heehee! voice class wasn't too torturous either. much better than last week. hope mei si is better. she didn't come for choir again today. have to remember to msg and wen hou her. poor gal. she should go and see another doctor for her cough. the first doctor's obviously no use. anyway, the tailor came to take measurements for the choir gown. still don't know what it looks like though. but talk about making people feel fat. gosh. feels guilty.

moving on to the topic of fat and guilty. yup, i've been indulging so much lately. have to hold back now. like today, i ate 3 eggs in a day. can't eat eggs from now till friday. and then, i ate a packet of hello panda, a snickers bar and a peanut butter oreo. then when i came home, mother makes me eat supper. sigh. talk about fat. and i just remembered the chocolate brownie with ice cream i ate during duan hui's birthday thing at munchie monkey. pure sin. sigh. time to go dieting. or "lord, if you can't make me thin, then make my friends fat". i'm so evil.

anyway, got round to cleaning my room on saturday. it was partially successful. as in, now my schoolbooks are in a proper cabinet, and i got rid of the junkpile in another cabinet. and the lime magazines moved from my room to my house's front door. of course, i needed a lot of help from andrew cos of my paranoia that i may be throwing away something important. he had to pack the stuff into plastic bags for me, else i would have been worrying all the time about it. even know i still go a bit paranoid. what if i unknowingly threw something impt away??! anyway, while going through my junk, i found those brochures that the overseas colleges sent me. (one spanish college and colorado college) wonder what would have happened if i had accepted their offer. hmm...interesting turn of events in my life. and they were admitting me based on my sats. which means that if i accepted, i could just screw the a levels. muahahaha! but of course, i'm sill stuck in singapore. i refrained from going to the exchange programme fair thing cos it's so expensive. no money liao. the dengue fever thing sapped a LOT of money. and nus isn't exactly cheap. and i'm not indicating school fees either. it's the extras like books... sigh, "it's a rich man's world". next time, i should go marry a rich man or else strike a billion dollars in 4D or something.

ok, anything else interesting to note? let's see...oh ya. i found this song that clay aiken sang for disney. it's a song on the new "aladdin" dvd. it's called "proud of your boy", it's a song that didn't make it into the original film. the lyrics are so meaningful. the way clay sings it...i saw the dvd review, the producer was wiping tears away at the end of the song. it's about a kid and his mother. it talks about how the kid acknowledges that what he did in the past was bad, juvenile delinquent thing, making his mother ashamed of him("i've wasted time, i've wasted me...okay i agree that i've been one rotten kid. some son, some pride and some joy"). and the kid goes on to promise that he'll be better in future ("you'll see, ma, now comes the better part, someone's got to make good, cross his stupid heart. make good and finally make you proud of your boy"). and yet, as he's making this promise, he knows that it'll be difficult for his mother to accept that he can and will change ("but that couldn't be all that i am. water flow under the bridge, let it pass, let it go. there's no good reason that you should believe me not yet"). but he still perserveres on to try to change ("someday and soon, i'll make you proud of your boy. though i can't make myself taller or smarter or handsome or wise, i'll do my best, what else can i do? since i wasn't born perfect like Dad or you. mom, i will try to, try hard to make you proud of your boy") *g*

till next time folks!